News from Amity – Returnee (Former ISEED Participant)! :)

“Jesus, please give me strength to face the future. No matter what it will be, help me focus on you. I don’t know how to express my feelings, help me to turn all of the sadness into motivation.” I was praying this on the plane.

I asked my family to arrive later. So I was waiting, trying to make sure I landed and I would be back for…forever? Finally I saw my mom, my two brothers, and one of my dad’s assistant. I gave them each of them hug. It was a bit embarrassing since it had been over one year from last time we saw one another. But it was good. The weather welcomed me with breeze and warmth. “I am home!”

Sadness quickly overwhelmed me. I started missing everything in the States, especially after my mom challenged me not to talk about my belief. I felt alone since my friends were all working. I wanted to go back to the States and get a Master Degree! Why do people act so differently? Can people show some respect? How can I celebrate the good in my own culture?

Thank God I was connected to a believer who is the leader of the returnee fellowship in town before I came home. I couldn’t wait to go to that group. It was a sharing session. We shared our concerns, our thanksgiving, and all kinds of stuff. I felt that I belonged.

I visited three fellowships so far. I was used to the Western style of worship and preaching. I knew that it would be hard for me to accept any kind of fellowship. By God’s grace, I readjusted my expectation and I started to see the good. I am still in the process of searching a fellowship.

Life is different. When I was in the States, I liked to cook dinner and invite friends over to eat. My weekend was full. I have IFI’s bible study on Friday night, prayer meeting and home church on Saturday, and Sunday service. I enjoyed leading the small group and serving people in various ways. I enjoyed driving around to do things. Now, I am back. Cooking dinner for friends is replaced by eating out with friends. Driving around is replaced by taking subway and spending an hour trying to get somewhere. God, what do you want me to change? When can I fall in love with the current lifestyle?

I was confused about where to go before coming back home. But God is able! Because of family problem, the idea of immigrating to Sydney was withdrawn. I might have a good job opportunity in Shanghai. So it was either Shanghai or Shenzhen. I felt the need to stay in my city because of my family’s unbelief, my friends’ broken life and many others who haven’t heard the good news. Yes, we can share Jesus wherever we go. Going to other city will add the difficulty of adjusting to life and restarting life, which leads to ineffectiveness. I decided to reach out to a Christian organization that I knew of and see if I could get a job there. Wow, God really opened the door. They have a staff who is leaving and they do need people. We are good match for each other. That’s how I decided to stay in Shenzhen!