For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. — 2 Corinthians 4:17
In the past few years, a lot of my relatives who knows me very well since I was little told me that I have changed a lot. Every time when they talked about the memories with me, the thing that they would mention the most is ” the quiet girl usually did her own stuff in the corner”. But now, they say I am so different than what I used to be. The only thing I can say is, it is God who changes me.
Before the age of 20, I always found myself having trouble seeing where my value is on this world. Being raised in a conservative Chinese family, I was always the well-behaved kid in school and in my family. Growing up, I was always good at study. For a long time, I thought my value was to achieve what my parents want me to do, so I tried my best to study to please them. From the outside, I was a good student and a good daughter. However, only I knew how unhappy I was living like that. I didn’t feel loved and cared by my parents. They never cared how I felt, even when I was sobbing. So I never know that I could tell my parents that I got bullied by my classmate from kindergarten. I was the most quiet one in school, but now one knew that my parents never taught me how to speak mandarin…Looking back, I would always think that my life was a curse, until I met Jesus…
He told me God is love and he loves me unconditionally; he told me that I am so precious and valuable in God’s eyes; he taught me how to forgive, how to love…
Through the inner healing class lately, I learned that there were so many sins of our ancestor that passed down to the next generation. The way how my parents treat me remind me how my grandparents treat them and they never realized there was any problem…This is a curse…As a child of God, I need to choose to confess and acknowledge the sins of my ancestors, while I don’t like the results of their sins on my life. I need to choose to forgive and release them not to hold them accountable for each and every way that their sins have affected me. I am very sorry for all the ways I have entered into the same sins and allow them to affect me, but there is a way, the curse can be broke in the name of Jesus.
Since God gives me my life, before he take my breath away, everything is meaningful.