Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” (Ephesians 6:1-3)
I am a Chinese international student who received Christ in the US. Knowing that there are so many Chinese who don’t know Christ, I have a passion to go back to China to preach the gospel. I thought preaching the gospel and saving souls are more meaningful than publishing theoretical math papers which few people will read. I told my mom that I wanted to go back to China to become a full-time missionary. My mom freaked out when she heard it. She had a great concern about my safety and future because preaching the gospel publicly is illegal in China, and professing Christian faith may bring suppression and persecution like losing jobs, losing opportunity of promotion. She said I would become a beggar since I could not get enough financial support by doing full-time ministry in China. In recent years, the suppression from the authority in China is even greater. Many churches are shut down, and many crosses outside of the church building are torn down, and bibles are burnt, and many believers, especially those of house church, are harassed or arrested by the police. My mom tried all her best to stop me. She called many people to persuade me or even threatened to terminate the mother-son relationship with me if I insisted. I did not give up my plan since I felt like I had strong calling from God and what my mom did was a hindrance for me to pursue God’s kingdom. I believed God would provide what I need and the financial support should not be a problem.
But God redirected me from my own way to His way. He slowed down my school work so that I might not hurry back to China. He directed me to ISEED program by IFI to equip me. He sent different people to tell me that I can work for Him and honor Him by doing math. Now I am willing to seek and discern God’s will first and walk on the path He directs me.
However, wound has been caused and relationship has been broken. I had spoken a lot of strong words that hurt my mom deeply. Now I realize my mistakes and try to reconcile with her. I apologized to her and asked her for forgiveness. When I told her that I gave up the plan, she got released. But she still worries that I may still go back to China to do full-time ministry someday. She also complains that being a Christian does not make me become a more loving person since I do not show enough concern for her and call her frequently. My impulsive decision makes my mom think that I am brainwashed and that the God I follow is her enemy. Previously my mom was willing to go to some events organized by IFI or churches, but now she doesn’t even want to hear about God. It turns out that I become the stumbling block for my mom to know Christ.
I write down my experience to raise attention for the conflict between Chinese international students who receive Christ in the US and their traditional family in China. Chinese international students are influenced both by western cultures and Chinese traditional cultures. But their parents in China are mainly influenced by Chinese traditional cultures, Chinese social values and China’s political environment, which are not friendly towards Christianity. We need to instruct and equip Chinese-international-student believers to know how to help their parents to understand their new faith, to honor their Chinese parents and even to bring their parents to Christ.