I used to be easily tempted to feel unsatisfied about the present time. When I was in my last year of high school, I wasn’t satisfied about my time at all because I could understand basically everything my teachers were saying. I eagerly hoped everyday that the difficult time could end soon so that I could go to my college and enjoy my time there. However, the college life wasn’t like what I imagined. I had language barrier, roommate conflicts, loneliness e.g. When I was doing a summer internship between my junior and senior year, I wasn’t satisfied about my time there because it was too boring, so I was counting the time, looking forward to the end of the summer. Towards the end of my college life, I became unsatisfied about my time at school because of the challenges of my classes. I was counting the time again, trying to figure out when this will come to an end and was kind of expecting the post-college work life. I figured my life at work should be at least better than my student life.
Now I’m not in school any more and I’m working. Similarly, it isn’t like a fairy tale. I still struggle sometimes, with loneliness, relationships, work, God’s calling, weakness e.g. You name it. When I felt weak and unsatisfied, I was tempted again to look forward to an end of my internship and was imagining the wonderful life after this internship. The Truth is, the life afterwards won’t be the same as what I imagined. Similar or new challenges for sure will come again. What shall I do then? Dreaming for the life afterwards? When will this come to an end? When will I seek true satisfaction?
As a Christian, I know that God is the only thing I truly want and need. He is the living water and whoever goes to him will never be thirsty again. I know this but I always sin over and over again by not seek God’s help when I feel challenged. When I had the feeling of “unsatisfied”, I tend tell myself that I can imagine the rest of this period of life. Certainly, if I don’t let God participate, the remaining time might not be as different as I imagined. However, God is the God that can depart the ocean. He is the God that can move the mountains. He is the God that bring the dead back to life. He is in control and He can do anything out of our imagination and knowledge. The result of not trusting Him is going back to the old cycle again and again, without ever moving forward.
God, please help me give the future back to your hand. I don’t know what the future holds, but I know who holds the future. The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
Prayer Requests:
- There are some spiritual attacks on my family recently. Please pray for wisdom and God’s work.
- God brought 9 girls to my Bible Study last Friday. May God bless them. I pray that I can grow my friendship with them. I pray that I can have the mindset of Jesus. Love them with Christ’s love.
- God has been telling me to seek him more. I pray that I can know God more and have a more intimate relationship with Him.
Thanks for reading!
Lin