When I was sitting in the office one day, for a while I thought it was 2016, and I thought next year would be 2017. When I finally figured out it is 2015 now, I realized it is almost the end of September, then I thought wow, it is about time to buy another planner.

I always make plans for myself, each year end I will buy a planner and then write down all the things that I know on my planner even before the new year starts. Even after I became a believer, I was still living my daily life strongly depend on “my” plan for a long while. If my day is not going according to my planner, I would feel nervous, am I behind my plan, am I out of control of my life? For a long while I was wondering, what would my life be like if I am not using planner anymore, how many times do I need to look at my planner each day to make sure I am finishing all my to-do-list? Am I relying on God to give me a sense of fulfillment and security or am I relying on my planner or in other words, myself?

I was often told that life needs to be “stable” when I grew up. My third oldest cousin got married, had a kid, her life is seen as “stable” and completed all the things she needs to do before enjoying a “stable” life; my third youngest cousin just got her job offer and would be able to stay at her home city, her life is seen as “stable” and ready to start her career and a “real life”. Every time I go back home, my uncle would say “Don’t chase some big dreams, when can you be stable? So we can feel secured in our hearts that you have a settled life.” To be “stable”, I used to make plans for myself, and then followed the plans, then hoped as long as I am following these plans, one day I would have a “stable” life. But who is in charge of my life? God is in charge of my life! Who should make plans for me, God should make plans for me! Am I using my planner as a planner or a reminder, is my planner a unchangeable schedule that is graven in my life or it is flexible that God can move the little pieces as Him thinks is the best for me.

I used to be very anxious and annoyed when my schedule needs to be changed, or some meeting times need to be changed because of some last minute calls. It gave me a sense of insecurity, because it is not how I planned it, I am not in control of my schedule anymore. But then God taught me to use my planner as a reminder, I can put plans in it, but plans are things that have not happened yet, plans can be changed. Since that summer, I started to replace my plans by God’s plans. I am not that upset about people changing the schedules anymore, and for some days I don’t even look at my schedule until night and see how much I have finished. My life is not bounded by my plans anymore, because I know that God has a plan and He wants me to have joy in my life.

My friends, I am not saying that planner is not good, I think it is very important to make our lives organized, but what is more important is to put faith in Christ knowing that even though life does not always go according to our plans, God is still in control. Ask God what He wants for us, what are His plans for us, put His plans in the planner, for that is where real security and stability come from.

When I was moving this summer, I found a piece of paper that I had when I first came here. It was a ten-year life plan, step by step, and I am happy to see that I barely looked at it during these years, and I am not following what is written on it. I know that God is changing my heart and teaching me how to rely on Him and put faith in Him. Now I really know it is not about “when can you be stable”, for my life is stable every day in the Lord. I once was accomplishing the plans to feel secured, but now I am feeling secured and accomplishing the plans, for I know that God is in control and He is with me all the time, my heart is settled and I wish that my family can also know that so their hearts’ would also be settled. When I look upon the cross, I know that I am secured in the Lord, and how amazing that He not only saved me but also gave me abundant life that is filled with hope and joy. He indeed deserves all the praise!!

PS. Thanks for reading the blog:) You are very welcome to comment below, and I am very willing to discuss with you! May the Lord bless you every day!